The wedding approacheth. In less than 30 days, I’m getting married, which is wonderful. But there is still more preparation that needs to happen between now and then. The thing no one tells you about planning a wedding is that it’s a logistical nightmare — you have to figure out everything from coordinating the different vendors (food, photographer, rentals, etc.) to the nitty gritty details of what color hydrangeas will serve as the centerpiece, who will pick the wedding party up from the airport, whether there is enough cake. Never again in my life will I plan such a single day in such intricate detail.

To be fair, we went the most difficult route. We decided to have our wedding at a private home instead of a staffed venue and we didn’t hire a wedding planner. I still think those were both good ideas, but I didn’t anticipate the extra work that came as a consequence.

Now here we are, at the end of the process. Just under four weeks left until the big day is here. And we are still consumed by details. When will the caterer get paid? Will it be sunny or will it rain? What music goes on the playlist? It gets exhausting quickly and after 11 months, it becomes a habit. As soon as I take a break from one thing, my mind is instantly on the wedding and the to-do list we have yet to complete.

Today, I am forcing myself to remember that when all is said and done, our wedding is not about the lights, the decorations, the weather or the food. It isn’t about getting every little thing right. It’s about love and commitment. It’s about celebrating our happiness and the future yet to unfold.

At the end of the day, it’s just a party. Good friends, close family, food, wine and dancing. That’s all it is. So, if all the hydrangeas are dead and the dessert gets a little melty, it will be okay. Because it isn’t about those things. It’s about love and we’ll have plenty of that. And that makes the great big ball of wedding stress feel a lot more manageable.

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Jonny Eberle is a writer in Tacoma, WA. You can follow his blog or find him on Twitter.