I am fortunate to be a writer living in the early 21st century. At no time in history has it been possible for my words to reach so many eyes. The Internet allows this blog to travel around the world in the blink of an eye. That amazes me. Every day, I’m connected to folks in Canada, India, the Philippines and Nepal.
And then there’s Bolivia. In the nearly three years that I’ve been at it, no one from Bolivia has ever read a word I’ve written. Sure, I’ve made it to every other country in South America, but that achievement feels hollow without Bolivia’s recognition.
It’s all been for Bolivia. It’s always been for Bolivia. I slave away over these blogs, hoping it will notice and know deep down that we are meant to be together, as author and country.
It all began in the 6th grade. I wrote a report on Bolivia. I paid tribute to its centuries under the heel of the Spanish. I extolled its rich silver mines, the Aymara ruins at Lake Titicaca, its 16-year struggle for independence, its 37 official languages and its 1,500 species of moss. And yet, despite the high marks I received for my detailed report, I heard nothing. You’d think a nation of 10 million hardworking people could at least send a card.
Now, years and years later, Bolivia still acts as though it doesn’t know me. It is a blank spot on the map and in my soul. Sometimes, I sit up late and night and wonder if Bolivia even knows I exist.
I will continue to write. Maybe my next blog will capture Bolivia’s attention. Or maybe Bolivia is deliberately avoiding me. Maybe Bolivia hates me. I just wish I knew. Other countries can try to comfort me, but don’t cry for me, Argentina. My heart belongs to Bolivia.
Of course, it’s always possible that I may be reading too much into my blog stats…
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Jonny Eberle spends waaaaay too much time agonizing over his site statistics. He really does think Bolivia is a cool place. He also tweets on occasion and has been known to show a serious side.
12 responses to “Why Does Bolivia Hate Me?”
Hilarious. Thank you for the laugh!
Any time! I feel the need to balance out the serious stuff every now and then.
Looks like Greenland does not like you either.
Bill
I give Greenland a pass on account of being mostly empty.
That is a really cheap attempt to fill in a continent. 🙂 And if it works I may write a series on my love of Cuba and Greenland!
Hey, it was a slow week…
I look at my stats and often ponder, “Why Gaboon? Why Libya? Why Turkey? What makes these fine countries want to read a blog with a lot of babbling about surfing? Well, I welcome you all…bring me your tired. Your poor. Your huddled masses!
That’s the spirit. Stats are very strange. You should see the odd search terms that lead people here.
I do! The search terms are just as odd as the visitors. Maybe WordPress staff members are making these items up to spice up their work days. I couldn’t imagine typing in “drooling grandmas depends party” into a search engine!
Maybe they do, like an April Fool’s joke that never got called off. One person found my blog by searching “need to know if my husband got married in Guatemala.” Very random.
That is classic! Ha ha!
I think “An Open Letter to Bolivia” is in your future, Jonny…